I'm not sure if anyone has read my blog yet. How do you get people to read a blog? I write for a living, so I could figure this out, but I don't feel like it just yet. I'm not quite ready for a lot of attention yet. But it would be nice to get a few comments.

An April 20 NPR story by Allison Aubrey covers a study on the use of botox to prevent excessive sweating in teens. I've explored this option with my dermatologist, and he said that first we must prove to the medical insurance companies that Drysol (now it has a different name, Hypercare) doesn't work for me. If I were to pay out of pocket, it would cost $2,400 to treat just my hands for 3-6 months. I feel like I can live with the sweat. But it's so easy to slip back into habits I developed as a teenager to hide my condition. If I found a medical cure for the sweat, would I feel normal in social situations? Probably not right away, but it would be a big help.

I saw a newspaper story about a teen leadership program. There was a picture of happy teenagers learning to dance with partners. If I had been a teen in that room, I would have fled. There was no way I would let someone hold my sweaty hands. Sometimes they used to get so sweaty I see drip marks on the ground, or wet marks on my cuffs. Nor would I have let anyone see my anxiety. I would have pretended that the event or the people didn't matter to me, that I had better things to do. When deep down, I needed so much to feel closer to others.

If anyone is reading this...what do you do to hide your hyperhidrosis?

My attempt to rejoin the human race

Sweat stains under your arms. Hearing the dreaded comment: "Why are your palms so sweaty?" Slipping out of a pair of sandals because your feet are so damp...or avoiding sandals completely, wearing shoes with socks all year round (even when you live in a swampy, steamy climate and would like nothing more than to wear a nice dress without pantyhose!) Avoiding places where you think you might have to hold hands as a group. Not trying karate because you have to walk in bare feet, avoiding dancing because you need to hold hands...avoiding or fearing any activity that might reveal the fact that you are one of the 4 percent of people who have over-active sweat glands.

Welcome to the world of hyperhidrosis--a medical condition that results in uncontrollable sweating of the hands, feet, and underarms. I have had hyperhidrosis since age 11. I'm now 35. Things are much better for me now than they were in my teen years. I've figured out how to avoid the sweat stains under my arm. I'm relaxed enough at most social functions that I can shake hands without leaving someone with a sweaty memento. But I still avoid church (where we exchange the 'sign of peace'), and I still haven't summoned up the courage to try karate. I'd love to salsa or swing dance, but I'm afraid to dance with a partner. (I think I could do it, and that I'd even like it, but I keep putting it off!) The older the get, the more determined I become to stop hiding parts of myself out of fear that my hyperhidrosis will be discovered. When you're focused on hiding parts of yourself, you're not fully enjoying life. And others are missing out on all you have to give.

I'm tired of hiding. As Auntie Mame said, "Life's a banquet, and only the fools starve." Well, I'm hungry!

I am writing this blog in hopes of providing support to others in their struggle with hyperhidrosis. And I could use some support for myself, too! I'm going to share my experiences and struggles, as well as the things that have helped me. I hope you will do the same. Maybe we'll even have a few laughs along the way. For example, what's a good career for someone with hyperhidrosis? A Riverdance dancer (i.e., Irish dancers who keep their arms by their sides.)

If you are one of the many teenagers out there who suffer from hyperhidrosis, please know: You are not alone. There is help for you out there. It gets better.

love, Tiara