How to Enjoy Holiday Parties, Sweaty Palms And All

It is much more comfortable for me to stay home in my fuzzy clothes on my cozy sofa, reading my beloved books. But even introverts are social creatures, and we can expand our worlds by getting to know new people. That's what I told myself as I got dressed for a holiday party at a friend's house.

But what helped me even more was an article just published by Christine Carter of the Greater Good Science Center: Why Happiness Is The Wrong Pursuit. "The way to lead a joyful life is not to pursue happiness for ourselves, but to pursue it for others," said Dr. Carter. "The good life is not about getting what we want; it’s about having what it takes to give to others."

So what does this have to do with small talk at a holiday party?

Each person we encounter has his or her own sorrows, joys, anxieties, and dreams. We all want to feel that we are heard, seen, and appreciated.  Rather than focus on our own anxieties, we can focus on others, really seeing them and hearing them. We can be socially generous. We can think about what we can give to others rather than worrying about how others will perceive us. For me, this mental shift makes me feel less pressure and more at ease.

I've known this for a long time, but I find it hard to put it into practice. I used to be terrible at small talk. I used to awkwardly shift the conversation back to myself because I didn't want to appear as if I were interrogating others. I'm better now, but I am still looking for ways to improve. The past few years, I've been listening to others to get ideas.

There is an art to the follow-up question. You can ask someone who mentions they've been through a life change (such as a move or a new job): "How is it working out for you?" You can reply by revealing a little about yourself, but still following up with a question: "That's awesome...I've always wanted to go to Costa Rica. How did you like the food?" Or you can simply say: "Really?" Signal your interest and let the person open up more. If they are a good conversationalist, they will eventually ask about you. I'm sure these tips seem obvious, but after years of severe social anxiety, I'm still learning the basics.

Tonight I learned that an acquaintance will get to spend the holidays with her whole family for the first time in three years. I learned about another woman's plans to swim around Manhattan. I learned how to do a six-part karate move. I learned about and enjoyed OK Go's video "I Won't Let You Down." I learned that a woman whom I admire, a sports coach who always seems carefree and full of energy, is struggling with a back injury.  And I learned what it is like to be a nurse working at a hospital, low in the pecking order as a recent graduate. My world got a little bigger, and learning all of these things was more interesting than thinking about myself. Plus I believe I made people feel good by showing interest in what they had to say. Happiness comes from giving to others -- not just through volunteering but in social situations too.

While I was busy listening to others, I forgot about my hyperhidrosis. It wasn't until later that I realized my hands were not sweating.

Love,
Tiara

Congratulations to 'Just a Little Sweat'!

While catching up on other hyperhidrosis blogs, I was happy that the author of "Just a Little Sweat" (who is a classical musician) got engaged. Her boyfriend proposed during a marathon that they were running together. Best wishes to the happy couple!

Love,
Tiara

Medical Journal Articles About Hyperhidrosis & Iontophoresis

Hi everyone, It has been a very long time since have blogged. It was wonderful to come back and see all the comments. A few of you mentioned that you are in medical school, so I wanted to point out a resource of special interest: PubMed. You can search for recent journal articles about hyperhidrosis. It's a great website, though unfortunately, I don't have access to many of the journal articles.

Still, it helps to scan the titles and summaries. I found a few about iontophoresis, my treatment of choice.

Here's one for young people with hyperhidrosis:

• Treatment of primary hyperhidrosis with tap water iontophoresis in paediatric patients: a retrospective analysis.

"Tap water iontophoresis is an effective method of treatment for primary palmoplantar and axillary hyperhidrosis in paediatric patients. But there are still unanswered questions about the mechanism of action, ideal session intervals and protocols for maximum efficacy."

Here is one for me -- a not-so-compliant iontophoresis patient (-:

• Compliance with tap water iontophoresis in patients with palmoplantar hyperhidrosis.

"Patients with palmoplantar hyperhidrosis are noncompliant with TWI, mainly due to a lack of time. They should be well informed before therapy and be encouraged to have a home device for maintenance."

And finally...a discouraging study about the use of hyperhidrosis for underarm sweat.

• Tap water iontophoresis may be ineffective for axillary hyperhidrosis.

   

Hope that helped!

Love,
Tiara

Valentine's Day special: A great catch!

The boyfriend of a hyperhidrosis blogger (Just A Little Sweat) wrote about what it's like to date someone with hyperhidrosis. Anyone who's frustrated with dating should read this post. If they're worth dating, they will be understanding of your hyperhidrosis. And chances are it won't be as big of a deal to them as it is to you.

Love,
Tiara

Dripping and dancing

I took a break from the iontophoresis, and my hands have been sweating a lot. In fact, during a meeting for work last week, I noticed wet spots on my pants and the carpet. My hands were actually dripping so much that it caused these wet spots.

I need to get back to the iontophoresis.

I am thinking of taking a swing dancing class, but I don't know if I (or my partners) would enjoy it with my dripping wet palms. Hopefully I can get the iontophoresis going quickly. In the meantime, is it acceptable to wear gloves while dancing? Any suggestions would be much appreciated.

Love,
Tiara